Monday, October 1, 2012

Marriage Book Review - Strangling Your Husband is NOT an Option

Reading this book is like having a conversation with your big sister, who happens to have a fantastic sense of humor and a strong handle on marriage relationships. Her approach is bold, direct and refreshing. Especially in a world where there is little support for one of a woman's most fulfilling roles.

The Visual Aid:

TitleStrangling Your Husband is NOT an Option
AuthorMerrilee Boyack
Publisher: Deseret Book
Year: 2006
How I found it: Saw it on the shelf and laughed out loud!
Available on Amazon - Here
Audience: This book is written for women, specifically wives. 
Paperback, 184 pages
Book Description:
"Things can get pretty crazy in marital relationships. As one reviewer has said, “What wife hasn’t felt like strangling her husband at least once during their marriage?” With her lighthearted personality and humor, author Merrilee Boyack shares twenty-five years’ worth of marital perspective in this practical guide to improve any marriage. As an estate-planning attorney, Merrilee has dealt with many struggling couples going through divorce. (Seven-year marriages seem to have the greatest challenges.) She offers practical tips for women who want to better understand men (particularly their husbands) and build happier marriages. She invites women to dump the guilt, be open enough to learn about areas they’d like to improve, and then take the steps to make those changes. Readers will also find a wealth of fun and practical advice in chapters like “The Five ‘Don’ts’ and Five ‘Do’s’ of Wifehood,” “But How Do I Change My Husband?” and “No, Really, How Can I Change Him?”

The Gist & What I appreciate:
This is how to be a wife 101, 202 and 303 combined. Don't roll your eyes. It's not what you think. In fact, Merrilee makes you think about how you treat your husband. What I appreciate is that she is anti husband-bashing! I think our culture has developed a sad tolerance of the mistreatment of men by various kinds of unhappy women. She holds wives to the standard of treatment we expect from our husbands.
Quote from page 18:
                "A great gift we can give our husbands is to be content and not make stuff more important than them. We can focus on living modestly and being appreciative of the life they provide for us." Later on page 19 she says, "Walk through your house with the eyes of an orphan. We live in opulence."

Quote from page 27:
              ". . . Start meeting your own emotional needs."

Quote from page 46:
             "Get out a piece of paper and a pen. Write at the top "Great Things about My Husband. Now start to write a list. Write down the way he holds your hand. . . Write down that he took care of the whole house when you came down with the stomach flu.Write down how he looked across the altar when you were married." Later on page 47, "Value your husband. Value him deeply. In fact, get a "Why I Love My Husband" book and write down every day some little thing that's wonderful about him or something nice he did. It will transform your marriage. It will transform you."

My two cents:
            I enjoy the humor she applies to everyday life. Don't be fooled, though. One minute you're chuckling and the next you may be squirming as she calls you out on socially acceptable behavior that you know isn't good for your marriage. (See page 9, "Well, if I was your husband, I wouldn't talk to you either.")
           This is easy to read, maybe harder to absorb, but well worth the effort. It's not all do's and don'ts - she has chapters for self-development and being a 'fun-living wife,' with lots of great ideas and practical, usable advice.
Up Next:
           Side by Side: Supporting a Spouse in Church Service by Jeanette Goates Smith (unless I feel like re-reading something else this week :)

( Dear FTC, I bought the book. I know I buy a lot of books. At least this one was on sale, but I'd buy it again even if it wasn't. )


Crissie said...

I've seen this advertised and wondered if it was any good. Sounds like it is worth buying! BTW, after your review of "The 5 Love Languages", I was reminded that I really need to read it! It has been sitting on my shelf for the past several years. I understand the concept of the 5 love languages, but have never actually read the book, so thanks for the reminder. :)

Tamara said...

Crissie, Thanks for stopping by! It's a great ready. And the Love Languages book is an easy read, too, and has practical ideas to implement!

Valerie Ipson said...

I haven't read the book, but I have heard her speak, and yes, she's very funny and very practical when it comes to marriage.


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