Monday, August 27, 2012

Marriage Book Review Monday

Have you ever noticed there are a lot of marriage books out there?
It took me a while to figure out I loved reading books on the subject. (Someone may have pointed out to me I might be a marriage book junkie :) I've decided to dedicate Mondays on the blog to marriage book reviews. Why? For the fun of it, or maybe I think happy marriages are important, possible and worth the work! Or maybe I miss doing book reports in school. . .

(This post also appears at Making Marriage Merry - an awesome marriage blog! Check it out!)

For Starters:

Title: Teens, Temple Marriage & Eternity
Author: Allan K. Burgess
Publisher: Deseret Book
Year: 1988
How I found it: Christmas Gift
Available on Amazon: Here
Audience: LDS teens and their parents, great for youth leaders, too.
Hardcover, 105 pages
This little gem of a book is an easy read. The writing is straightforward and organized into concise chapters with summaries. Burgess draws on experience as a Seminary teacher and counselor, as well as teachings of latter day prophets and general authorities.

I received this as a Christmas gift as a teenager. I think it was the first "marriage" book I’d ever read. I was 14 and of course, I hadn’t met my future husband and though I wouldn’t be married for years to come, I read the book within a day. What can I say? I’ve been fascinated by marriage for a long time. Time and experience has only increased my interest in, as well as my deep appreciation for, the gift of marriage.
From the front flap:
“Why should I get married in the temple?” “What happens when I go to the temple for the first time?” “Why are the covenants made there so important?” . . . Allan K. Burgess, a seminary teacher with considerable experience in counseling teenagers and young adults, answers these questions and puts to rest some of the myths and concerns you may have about the temple. Besides learning how to prepare for your first visit to the temple and what to expect from it, you will also learn the importance of the covenants you make and the rich blessings in store for you if you honor those covenants.”

What I appreciate:
The concept he teaches about the difference between a temple wedding and a celestial marriage. The wedding is an event that takes place during one day and ends. The marriage can last a lifetime and for eternity if it is celestial. It is a process that requires two people motivated to keep their covenants.
        This idea might have been the most beneficial for me to learn as a young woman. Our youth are taught much about planning to marry in the temple, and rightly so, but sometimes the focus can be on the event of the wedding instead of the covenants or the quality of the marriage relationship after the wedding day.
Quote from Chapter Two, page 25:
                “Many young people labor and live under false notions, feeling that a marriage contract , and especially if it is a temple marriage, solves all the problems; and many people further think that marriage is a sort of perpetual motion program. Once set in motion by a marriage ceremony, it will never run down. I want to tell you that there are no marriages that can ever be happy ones unless two people work at it.” (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L. Kimball [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1982], p. 307.)

 Quote from Chapter Six, page 60:
                “He helped her kneel at the altar, and then he walked around to the other side of the altar where he knelt across from her. As their eyes met, I noticed tears. . . .  You could both see and feel the joy that they felt at that moment.”

My two cents:
                Great read for teens and their parents.  Keep in mind the book was published before the digital revolution – so no advice regarding the internet, facebook, etc. Also, he discusses temple worthiness and uses a number of real life stories (names changed, of course) that include serious topics-therefore probably best suited for mature teens.

Up Next Week:
           The Five Love Languages/Gary Chapman


Susan said...

LOL - I have never heard of a "marriage book junkie," but I think it's awesome that you're devoting so much time and energy to your marriage. If more people did that, this world would be a much happier place!

Tamara said...

Thank you Susan! I agree. There are few people or places out there that care about our marriages. If we don't take care of them, who will?


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