Marriage Monday - Conference Quote

More book reviews are on the way, but I wanted to share this from General Conference. It is a serious and sobering reminder of the importance of the marriage relationship. As you've heard me say before, it is worth the effort!

Elder Dallin H. Oaks, of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, General Conference October 6,2012, said this about marriage in his talk about protecting children (emphasis added): 

"There are few examples of physical or emotional threats to children as important as those arising out of their relationships with their parents or guardians. Of utmost importance to the well-being of children is whether their parents were married, the nature and duration of the marriage, and, more broadly, the culture and expectations of marriage and child care where they live.

The most powerful teaching of children is by the example of their parents. Divorcing parents inevitably teach a negative lesson. There are surely cases when a divorce is necessary for the good of the children, but those circumstances are exceptional. In most marital contests the contending parents should give much greater weight to the interests of the children. With the help of the Lord, they can do so.

Children are also victimized by marriages that do not occur. Few measures of the welfare of our rising generation are more disturbing than the recent report that 41 percent of all births in the United States were to women who were not married. Most of the children born to unmarried mothers—58 percent—were born to couples who were cohabitating. Whatever we may say about these couples’ foregoing marriage, studies show that their children suffer significant comparative disadvantages. For children, the relative stability of marriage matters.

We should assume the same disadvantages for children raised by couples of the same gender. The social science literature is controversial and politically charged on the long-term effect of this on children, principally because, as a New York Times writer observed, “[s]ame-sex marriage is a social experiment, and like most experiments it will take time to understand its consequences.”

We are speaking of the children of God, and with His powerful help we can do more to help them. In this plea I address not only Latter-day Saints, but also all persons of religious faith and others who have a value system that causes them to subordinate their own needs to those of others, especially to the welfare of children.

Religious persons are also conscious of the Savior’s New Testament teaching that pure little children are our role models of humility and teachableness.

“Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.

“Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3-4)."

***

You can watch the entire talk at the 1 hr 34 min mark 
Elder Oaks General Conference October 2012

Conference Cookies, and Breakfast Too

Most Requested Breakfast Dish at My House

German Pancakes

topped with peach jam and powdered sugar

Ready to Eat - German Pancake 

6 eggs
1 cup of flour
1 cup of milk
1/2 tsp salt
5 TBL butter (or margarine)

Preheat oven to 425. Cut up butter and place in two 9x13 dishes, put in oven to melt while mixing other ingredients. 

Beat eggs till lemon colored. Add flour, mix well. Add milk gradually. Add salt. Pour evenly into both dishes. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes. Pancakes will puff up and sometimes sink or flatten once out of the oven. Yum.

***

While I was making the pancakes, my little helper made these. She called them Lemon Dollops. I asked her what the blue and red colors were and she said, 'blueberry and strawberry dollops, of course.'
Of Course!

***

Shortest Life-Span Snack

Disappearing Black & White Chocolate Chunk Cookies

(I mentioned them once here: Cookie Post)

One box of Krusteaz Chocolate Chunk Cookies
One Egg
1/2 cup of butter

Follow directions on the box.
I add half a bag of Nestle Toll House White Chocolate chips. Maybe it's my attachment to Toll House, or maybe the cookies just taste awesome!

***

Why I love General Conference weekend: Listening to the prophet and apostles with family and good food=happiness.

How Do You Make Friends? - Friday

This is Miss Manners in reverse.

Do you ask people what they are reading? When they are sitting near you in a doctor's waiting area, or the subway or wherever? Or do you steal glances at the cover and try to read the part of the title that isn't covered by their hands?

And have you ever had someone ask you? Do you rattle off the title without taking your eyes from the page? Or do you offer a full synopsis of what you've read thus far?

What do you think? What do you do? 
Thanks for stopping by the blog and helping me satisfy my social-reading-etiquette curiosity!

Tuesday Triumph - Cake

Drum roll please...
I did not eat any leftover birthday cake for breakfast.

Anyone who knows me, knows that is a triumph!
Be impressed. Very impressed.

Hmm, what will I have for lunch?

Marriage Book Review - Strangling Your Husband is NOT an Option

Reading this book is like having a conversation with your big sister, who happens to have a fantastic sense of humor and a strong handle on marriage relationships. Her approach is bold, direct and refreshing. Especially in a world where there is little support for one of a woman's most fulfilling roles.



The Visual Aid:

Title: Strangling Your Husband is NOT an Option
Author: Merrilee Boyack

Publisher: Deseret Book

Year: 2006

How I found it: Saw it on the shelf and laughed out loud!

Available on Amazon - Here

Audience: This book is written for women, specifically wives. 

Paperback, 184 pages

                

      

Book Description:

"Things can get pretty crazy in marital relationships. As one reviewer has said, “What wife hasn’t felt like strangling her husband at least once during their marriage?” With her lighthearted personality and humor, author Merrilee Boyack shares twenty-five years’ worth of marital perspective in this practical guide to improve any marriage. As an estate-planning attorney, Merrilee has dealt with many struggling couples going through divorce. (Seven-year marriages seem to have the greatest challenges.) She offers practical tips for women who want to better understand men (particularly their husbands) and build happier marriages. She invites women to dump the guilt, be open enough to learn about areas they’d like to improve, and then take the steps to make those changes. Readers will also find a wealth of fun and practical advice in chapters like “The Five ‘Don’ts’ and Five ‘Do’s’ of Wifehood,” “But How Do I Change My Husband?” and “No, Really, How Can I Change Him?”

The Gist & What I appreciate:

This is how to be a wife 101, 202 and 303 combined. Don't roll your eyes. It's not what you think. In fact, Merrilee makes you think about how you treat your husband. What I appreciate is that she is anti husband-bashing! I think our culture has developed a sad tolerance of the mistreatment of men by various kinds of unhappy women. She holds wives to the standard of treatment we expect from our husbands.

     

Quote from page 18:

                "A great gift we can give our husbands is to be content and not make stuff more important than them. We can focus on living modestly and being appreciative of the life they provide for us." Later on page 19 she says, "Walk through your house with the eyes of an orphan. We live in opulence."

Quote from page 27:

              ". . . Start meeting your own emotional needs."

Quote from page 46:
             "Get out a piece of paper and a pen. Write at the top "Great Things about My Husband. Now start to write a list. Write down the way he holds your hand. . . Write down that he took care of the whole house when you came down with the stomach flu.Write down how he looked across the altar when you were married." Later on page 47, "Value your husband. Value him deeply. In fact, get a "Why I Love My Husband" book and write down every day some little thing that's wonderful about him or something nice he did. It will transform your marriage. It will transform you."

My two cents:
            I enjoy the humor she applies to everyday life. Don't be fooled, though. One minute you're chuckling and the next you may be squirming as she calls you out on socially acceptable behavior that you know isn't good for your marriage. (See page 9, "Well, if I was your husband, I wouldn't talk to you either.")
           This is easy to read, maybe harder to absorb, but well worth the effort. It's not all do's and don'ts - she has chapters for self-development and being a 'fun-living wife,' with lots of great ideas and practical, usable advice.

                

Up Next:
           Side by Side: Supporting a Spouse in Church Service by Jeanette Goates Smith (unless I feel like re-reading something else this week :)

( Dear FTC, I bought the book. I know I buy a lot of books. At least this one was on sale, but I'd buy it again even if it wasn't. )

Thursday Potpourri - Funny

In the mix:

Humor, Sarcasm and Satire
No, not everything you needed to know about these topics. Just tidbits of each. That's why I call it Potpourri.



On Humor:

Honest Jon Blog

Joking about serious, even sacred, things is a tough gig. Kudos to "Honest Jon" for tackling it. Here's a sample. Visit his blog for more fun.

Here is the driest definition of humor I have ever read. Please ignore unless you don't want to laugh!

"Humor is the tendency of particular cognitive experiences to provoke laughter and provide amusement. The term derives from the humoral medicine of the ancient Greeks, which taught that the balance of fluids in the human body, known as humors (Latin: humor, "body fluid"), control human health and emotion."

On Sarcasm:

The Science of Sarcasm - Not That You Care

I try to avoid sarcasm, which can be hard to do when conversing with teenagers, or anyone who would still like to be one. But who knew that not being able to detect it says a lot about the health of our brain!

"The word comes from the Greek σαρκασμός (sarkasmos) which is taken from the word σαρκάζειν meaning "to tear flesh, gnash the teeth, speak bitterly".



On Satire:

How To Fool A Nobel Prize-Winning New York Times Columnist

I also avoid satire. Probably because I'm not good at it. And it can backfire, as is demonstrated by this article. Not that it isn't fun to say 'gotcha- just kidding' but something about playing in the dirt, it's hard to get rid of the smell.

"Satire is primarily a literary genre or form, although in practice it can also be found in the graphic and performing arts. In satire, vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to ridicule, ideally with the intent of shaming individuals, and society itself, into improvement. Although satire is usually meant to be funny, its greater purpose is often constructive social criticism, using wit as a weapon."

Work In Progress Wednesday

Most (99 %) of the time when I say Work In Progress - you know I'm talking about the book, my book, that I've written, rewritten and am now revising. Again.

Today I will try to address my other Work In Progress. Oh, 'And which one would that be,' you ask? Another novel? No. I'm referring to the WIP that is my life. I admit it is much harder to quantify my progress at anything (especially since I'm really not sure I'm making any). Whereas I can tally the number of pages written or words revised in a manuscript, I don't have a way to measure if I'm smarter, more loving or more patient in my day to day life. Then there is the matter of growing up, the concept of not simply gaining years but maturity, not only getting older but getting wiser. And does getting wiser have to be the goal? Of course not, but I ask, does old and foolish sound like a winning combination?

Which brings me to where I am today. Looking after my mom.
Stay with me here and lets see if I can say this...

I've reached that certain age where I feel like I know some things. Not a lot, but some. I've been married long enough to be able to measure in double digits, not the years but the decades. I've been a practicing mother for almost as long. I lived in a few different places and had my share of tests and challenges. And I've paid attention.

It was in that seductively secure place I found myself at the hospital accompanying my cute 80 year-old mom for (minor) surgery. I've been around a few hospitals. Even delivered my daughters in the very one where I was taking her. I was not intimidated, just anxious for it to all go well for her.

I didn't see it coming. The moment I held her hand in recovery, looked at her peaceful face and curled white hair and felt the freight train of mystery and wonder hit me full force. I could have been 10 years old sitting there for all the understanding I didn't have. How did we get here? She used to hold my hand as we crossed the street. She was the one to brush my hair and curl it for picture day. When did she get old and when did I grow up? And I thought I was paying attention. What did I know?

I knew by the time I left my mom resting comfortably in her room and drove home, I wanted to hug every person in my house a lot tighter, which is saying something since I'm already the resident hugger. And l knew I wanted to follow my mom's example, at least in one way, and stay focused on being there for the people I love.