Marriage Monday - For Fathers

It's not June, Father's Day is still five or so months away, but a few things have caught my attention and I wanted to share.

First, one of my favorite Family Circus cartoons - I don't have a link to it, so this will require your imagination (remember that little thing we used before google!!)
The mom and dad are hugging by the door and the young son is holding his mitt and says, "Are you gonna' hug her all day or can we go to the game?"

I don't even know why I liked it so much, except for the belief I have that every child deserves a dad and a mom that that hug each other. One of my earliest memories I have is of the year I started Kindergarten, my father would come home for lunch and he and my mom would hug in the doorway. I'd run and hug their legs before I'd leave for school.

Not much of a memory, I know, but the feeling --oh the feeling, happiness, warmth, peace, security and sweetness all rolled up into one little moment.

Imagine my surprise when our youngest began hugging our legs every time my husband and I shared a hug. It's gotten to the point where when we hug, it is like a magnet, or beacon, or we emit some sort of homing signal. She comes running from wherever she is in the house, I don't even know how she knows. And if we break before she reaches us, she pulls us back together so she can get in on the hug. Sweetness!

So enjoy these little links. The first is a video, the second is an article-but it's short and well worth the read!

Tribute to Fathers

Article-Three Things I Wish I Knew Before We Got Married

Behind the Scenes - Coping Article

I will confess, while the idea for my second article for FamilyHow.com came quickly to me, it turned out to be a little harder to write. I think I know why...I wanted to include some of the personal experiences I've had when my children have been diagnosed with various conditions or illnesses, but I also wanted to be sensitive to their needs for privacy. When I began having my children, facebook and blogs didn't exist. Maybe my concern for their privacy is an outdated one in our culture of post-every-picture-as-soon-as-you-snap-it. Outdated or not, I hope I was able share helpful information for anyone facing similar situations. 

What do you think? 

Friends, Winners and What's Pain Got to do With It?

A facebook (and writer) friend Kari shared this link: 10 Things Winners Do Differently.

All ten suggestions are great - here is # 9:

"Work through the pain. – One day this pain will make sense to you.  Sometimes it takes the worst pain to bring about the best change.  The strongest people you know became strong because of the pain they once faced, and conquered.  So in spite of all the put-downs and negativity you’ve heard from others in your life, stay focused on your goals, and remember that how you rise up is no one else’s business but your own. "

I think I'm still pondering that line "One day this pain will  make sense to you." Of all the things I've tried to make sense of in life, pain has not been one of them. I think up until now I've categorized it into to kinds: A.) productive and B.) non-productive (or in other words - useless, miserable, wretched, etc.) For type A, think of labor pains and childbirth. For type B, think of a pulled ligament in the knee. Reading that article today reminded me that even the type B pain in my life doesn't have to be senseless or useless.

Then this quote bubbled up in my mind. (And because of the magical internet, I can quote it here with accuracy.)

“No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God . . . and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in heaven.”  ― Orson F. Whitney

Sobering, but comforting and true. I believe this is possible when we turn our hearts and lives over to Heavenly Father. He is the only one that can "consecrate our affliction for our gain." 

Here's to getting through the pain, not quitting and great friends that help us along the way!

Marriage Article - Behind the Scenes

Thursday on the blog is usually Potpourri Thursday which is helpful since this post is a lovely combination of my Marriage Monday news and my Work-In-Progress Wednesday update. Phew. (Do not try to say that five-times-fast!)

First - some writing news: I'm a contributor to the new website FamilyHow.com offering practical family solutions. I'm thrilled to be a part of such a great community of writers.

Next - a little about my article: if you know me or my blog, you know I love all things marriage. So  hopefully it doesn't come as a surprise that I would jump at the opportunity to write about how to keep a marriage strong! (Okay, I don't know if I jumped, maybe squealed :)

I will say even with all my excitement, when I read this title "assignment" that I "volunteered" for (how's that for clarity?) - I thought "Wow. 15 Things?" I later mentioned it to a friend who said, "If I have to do 15 things a day for my marriage, I feel like I'm working too hard!" That's when I was sure I wanted to highlight so many of the ordinary things we already do each day that can strengthen our marriage!

Add in some research, some hours for the rough draft, a round of edits before submitting and voila, my first published on-line marriage article!

15 daily things to do to strengthen your marriage

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Thanks for stopping by & as always, I love your comments!

Tuesday Triumph - It's Never Just Mopping

Today's Triumph = I mopped the floors.

Why does mopping earn the triumph award? It's never just mopping at my house.

You see, my mop doesn't have a home. Neither does my bucket. Our lovely house doesn't have a basement and so storage space is at a premium. That means I have to be creative when it comes to storing all our stuff. I like to follow the organizational rule of storing items as close as possible to where they are used. The practicality of this rule is obvious when you think of keeping utensils in a drawer in the kitchen so you don't have to go traipsing through the house three times a day for cutlery. It works for towels in a bathroom closet, laundry soap near the washer and dryer. It's all great, until there isn't space where there should be space. Like what I was saying about my mop. Homeless. I don't have a broom closet either, but at least there is a just-wide-enough space next to my fridge for that. My mop, on the other hand, has been relegated to the garage for half the year and the back patio for the other half. I don't even have a good reason for one place or the other. Both places have their pitfalls, neither are ideal. ( What does my homeless mop have to do with a Tuesday Triumph? -- I'm getting there, I promise.)

The mop bucket stored on the patio collects a fair amount of dust, sand and debris. In order to mop with clean water, I rinse out the mop bucket with the hose. As long as I have the hose out, I think, I might as well spray down the kitchen trash container. And once I've done that, the kitchen mat gets a good rinsing. This same tag-team cleaning happens once I'm back inside. I vacuum the floor before I mop it and while I have the small vacuum out, I can clean the laundry room and oh, look, this bathroom floor could use some attention! You see where this is going. When I say I've mopped the floors, rest assured half the house gets cleaned, too. It's a good feeling, if I ignore the fact that I had no intention of spending that much time on housework in one little afternoon.

Does anyone else tag team when they clean? Please tell me I'm not the only one.
And if I am, at least tell me your triumph!

Thursday Potpourri - Possibly Political

Are you watching the debates? President, Vice-President, liberals, conservatives, Big Bird?

Even Big Bird has been dragged into it, and consequently asked, in polite way, to be left out of it. After all, he is only a puppet. 

In the run up to the first debate of the season, I started feeling a little sorry for the candidates. Given past debate debacles, there's a lot of pressure on these people. Don't check your watch - remember Bush Senior. Don't roll your eyes - remember Gore. Don't add inappropriate suffixes to your words - Bush W. Don't sigh - More from Gore. The list goes on. Is it better to look in the camera or your opponent in the eye? What about the moderator? If you cut him off are you too aggressive or demonstrating assertiveness? Imagine the pressure! These are human beings we're talking about here. Is it fair for Obama to lose the debate because he looked down at the podium so much? (Where is the list of acceptable focal points again?) How can you stand in one place, monitor every bodily function, manage body language messages and speak articulately about every issue facing the country?

Hmm. The country. Then I remember something. These people are asking to be President of the United States. If the debate is too much pressure what about holding the office? If you want one of the most powerful jobs in the world, shouldn't you be able to stand on your feet, look people in the eye and make your point--as a minimum requirement?

I don't know. Just a thought. 

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In other news, did you know they invented cinnamon chips? Yes, you probably did as it has been at least a few years that I've known about them and I'm always behind the trends. But now that the temps have dropped and I'm pretending it's cold enough to be sweater weather, I'm toying with the idea of pulling out the Bosch and baking. Stay tuned.

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A bit of inspiration on the blog. What Would You Tell Your 15-year-old Self?

I can't say I've always liked the concept of this- because your old self can't really make use of the advice, you know? But now that I have teenagers, it helps me think in ways of how to better teach my kids. So, what would you tell your 15-year-old-self?

Me? "Ease up on the hairspray, Tam, big hair won't be big forever!"

Tuesday Triumph - Trumped by the Milk Carton

Walking again. 
The cooler weather might have something to do with my motivation. 

However, my six-year-old mentioned to me this morning that she learned how to open her own milk carton at school and doesn't need the Lunch Aide* to help her anymore. I think her triumph totally trumps my triumph, don't you?

And despite my dinosaur age, I remember sitting at the crowded cafeteria table, struggling with that cardboard mystery, hoping I'd get it open without decorating my school clothes, or the person next to me, with chocolate milk.

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*Yes, my daughter did say 'Aide,' and not 'Lady.' Maybe that's a triumph for Lunch ladies and gentlemen everywhere.